Monday, May 07, 2007

Crappy Security Dudes

I had to drop by my friend's place to collect some stuff. Perhaps the maintenence fee for his place was pretty hefty, the security clearance was known to be rather stringent and anal.

Drabbed in my sweat-soaked fatigues after netball, I warily wound down my window for an interrogation with the security guards. There was one Malay dude standing outside, and a Chinese uncle sitting inside the guard house.

Malay Dude: Hi, are you visiting?
Me: Actually, no. I am just in to collect something.
MD: Oh, may I know which block?
Me: Er.. I think it is block 33.
MD: Are you going to park?
Me: No, no. I just need to drive to the block, collect and go.
MD: Which unit?
Me: Er.. 11-01 (I can't remember so I tikam-ed.)
MD: This is not your first time, right?
Me: Er.. sort of.
MD: So you should know where you shouldn't park.
Me: Yes, yes.

He smiled and waved me off.

Before he could raise the security barrier, the Chinese uncle shouted something and the Malay dude looked at him puzzledly.

I thought to myself - Die lah. Tikam unit number wrongly. Sekarly no #11-01.

The Chinese uncle mumbled something from within the guardhouse again. Malay dude stared at me. I thought they wanted me to remove my cap since it was dark at night anyway.

Me: Er. What?
Chinese Uncle: You are Miss Singapore right?
Me: HAR?
Malay Dude: He asked if you are Miss Singapore?
Me: Huh? No!
Chinese Uncle: No meh? The recent Miss Singapore contest leh.
Me: No no no.
Chinese Uncle: Orh I thought can take autograph.

I forced a haa-haa-haa, wound up my window and drove to my friend's block to narrate the weird episode.

Friend: Chun bo? You Miss Singapore?
Me: What? The guard ask one lor!
Friend: Security guards lead boring lives la.
Me: So?
Friend: So, they try to entertain themselves by hallucinating.
Me: ...
Friend: I bet they say that to every girl that drives in.

Right. By the way, my dad just complained to me last Sunday regarding the standard of Miss Singapore contestants. I didn't watch it though, but apparently, security guards do.

6 Comments:

Blogger Luna said...

wah seh... interested to join the next Miss Singapore pageant? haha.. I'll be your supporter =P

8:22 AM  
Blogger liwei said...

Muahahaha, funny shit!

10:32 PM  
Blogger chern san said...

Actually, the winner this year is one of the better ones in recent years. Working as air stewardess. How bad can it get huh?

I thought she stood out well among the rest. Some of the contestants were like 'ladder steps'. You should know what I mean.

11:26 PM  
Anonymous Toukarin said...

Actually I agree with Luna, I'll help you dial a few calls and help you promote all over the place!

11:37 PM  
Blogger jellybeano said...

Er, no lah. I don't think I have the courage to subject myself to ridicule by the rest of Singapore. But aw, luna and toukarin are so sweet. Thanks for your support ah. If I ever win a Nobel Prize, you all can be my pong pong girls/boys! hahaha...

12:47 AM  
Anonymous Joy said...

eh... the miss universe winner this year is actually quite pretty. not like the last few years.
http://www.msu2007.com.sg/jessica.htm

btw, i think now-a-days the air stewardess standard drop liao. lol.

11:38 AM  

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