Wednesday, June 13, 2007

All Stitched Up and Ow.

Today is the day.

I haven't really been through any operating procedure unless you count the wisdom teeth surgery as one. For that one, I was under General Anaesthesia. I didn't know no crap until they finally roused me up at the end of the surgery. This time, I was to be under Local Anaesthesia.

Drabbed in dreary surgical costume

There were two surgeons in operation, one working on my left shoulder blade, the other working on my right thigh. The first worrying sign occured when one of the surgeon was clumsy enough to trip over the whole life-monitoring system, creating a mini-hoohaa before the procedure.

The injections of anaesthesia was pretty painful, but still bearable. Apparently, the amount of anaesthesia administered do vary across person to person, as well as body parts. The nerves at my thigh seemed to be working overtime, as compared to the one at my shoulder blades.

"Scream if you are in pain hor," one of the surgeon offered unhelpfully.

What the fuck? I thought silently. Now, how is that for an assuring demeanor for a doctor? Don't doctors take some Doctor and Society psychological courses or something?

Soon, I can feel myself being cut up. It wasn't a very nice feeling at all. And what is worse, I can hear the surgeons talking.

Surgeon 1: Eh do you have the blade scissors?
Surgeon 2: I thought you had the blade scissors?
Surgeon 1: Oh, I thought that one is blade scissors..
Surgeon 1: But on closer inspection, I don't think so leh.
Surgeon 2: No?


Surgeon 1: No, don't think so.
Surgeon 2: (Hollers) Can someone go fetch a blade scissors??

Right, so I laid there, slightly alarmed that my surgeons can't really differentiate their instruments. And every so often, I feel pangs of sharp pain like I am being sliced apart. I attempted to bury my face in the pillow so as to appear less of a wuss. However, there were two or three times where my leg involuntarily twitched in pain. Finally, I whispered a muffled 'Ow..'

Surgeon 1: Eh, painful ah?

Of course lah! Then I 'Ow' for what?! Hobby meh?!

Me: Er, yes, a little.
Surgeon 1: Opps, sorry!
Surgeon 2: Better put more anaesthesia
Surgeon 1: Okay. Yah, better.

Like tikam game, huh?

Anyway, the cyst at the thigh was much trickier and took a bloody long time to be removed. The whole procedure took approximately 2 hours. Now, I feel extremely stitched up, like some voodoo doll. The stitches can only be removed a week later. Boo! I don't like to be out of action. Where will more endorphins come from?

Surgeon: Okay, no swimming for some time okay?
Me: Oh.. can I go under the sun?
Surgeon: Okay, but put sunscreen to prevent darkening of scars.
Me: Oh.. can I do sports?
Surgeon: Er.. *looks skeptical* rest a bit la.
Me: 2 days?
Surgeon: How about 2 weeks?
Me: WHAT?!
Surgeon: Non vigorous exercise, please.

BAH! I tried to hoodwink my mum that tennis is considered non vigorous exercise until my mum inquired the nurse dispensing my medicine personally.

Mum: Cannot play tennis, cannot play netball, cannot go jogging.
Me: ...

I haven't told my mum about Eugene's invitation to wakeboard and my invitation to Isabelle to mountain bike. Hee hee. That wasn't part of her list. I am looking for loopholes. Shhhh!

I pulled a face because my mum banned all my sporting activities. However, she tried to bribe me by feeding me whatever I wanted to eat. So, we had sushi for lunch and I went on a mini-shopping spree.

Now, I have to sit carefully and slowly to avoid impacting the wound. I can't really turn my head to the left, so please guys, try to appear on my right. RIGHT! RIGHT! Remember!

Finally, I hobbled home, going 'Ow. Ow. Ow.' with ever step, and I saw this on the dining table.

Me: Mummy, why you buy so much A4 paper lor?

My mum was denying feebly and checked out the label on the box.

Mummy: Not me lor. It is YOU. YOUR BOX.

Mine? I ripped the box open curiously.

Ta dah.

Much love from these lovely people... Muacks.

Gracias for the cheerful presents, dear Sandy, Jane, Sam and Trex! If I changed my bloodied bandages anytime, you can all have a piece as a souvenier as a token of my gratitude. :P

Meanwhile... OW!


Blogger musette said...

i'd rather you save your bloodied bandages for the mozzies should you kena 'mozzie attack' lor. ~pbbt~

can you please tell me who your surgeons are? they'll be on my list of surgeons to avoid, for my future reference if needed.

12:30 AM  
Blogger Luna said...

Get Well Soon Babe!! Look!! What's on your left shoulder? LOL

9:41 AM  
Blogger liwei said...

Get welll soon and please don't tear your wound before it heals. Gosh, the way you joke abt it!

11:25 AM  
Blogger jellybeano said...

musette: actually, i haven no idea who my surgeons are, but they are pretty young. And seemingly inexperienced. Bleah.

luna: Thanks! Have fun at Pulau Ubin... boohoo!

liwei: er.. choy choy, if i do play tennis, i will just stand and NOT run.

11:33 AM  
Blogger chern san said...

Take it ez gal. Rest well.

1:52 PM  
Blogger jellybeano said...

yes sir!

2:09 PM  
Anonymous Joy said...

get well soon! :)
better late then never eh?

2:27 PM  
Blogger Diet Coke Lover said...

Flowers and chocolates do cheer up a patient eh?! Glad u like those, but don't peel the petals 1 by 1. let toto tear them apart when they are dead, instead. Hoo.

2:19 PM  
Blogger jellybeano said...

joy: thanks thanks!

diet coke lover: eh well the flowers are still pretty so I will just let them be for now...

10:32 AM  

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