Wednesday, May 17, 2006

On a More Morbid Note...

Yesterday, I caught up with a friend very briefly over Gmail Chat. I knew he was really busy with his new girlfriend and job, so I harshly admonished him. Much to my chagrin, I realized my reproach was undeserving because he confided that his mother was suddenly diagnosed with suspected lung cancer.

I did not know what to articulate as words of comfort. Sometimes, words are needless and very often, pointless. But I did note one thing - that humans, in realization that something is going to vanish from their lives, frequently desperately perform last-ditch attempts to grasp hold of it. One is often susceptible to the human flaw of appreciating someone/something only when it is almost gone.

Of course, I am not denying the fact that I am guilty of such oversight. But strangely, since I was young, I have been stricken by a fear of losing my loved ones everyday. Because of that view, I made it a point to spend adequate time conversing with my parents, to give tummy-rubs and coo sweet nothings at my beloved dog every morning, to attempt to bring my grandma out at least once in a while...

If it were to be my last day on earth, I wouldn't want to do anything differently.

So, on the bus to school today, I saw a girl with her grandmother at the bus stop. Apparently, her mother was on the same bus as me. The girl looked up, her eyes alit with happiness, blew her mother a kiss and squealed "I LOVE YOU!!!"

It was such a spontaneous heartwarming moment that made me wish I had a camera to capture it. I wondered if she would do the same thing to express her love a decade down the road.

Don't you hate those inhibitions that come with age?

It makes me want to go home and give my mum a big, big hug. Never mind if she is going to quip,"Eh siao ah? Hug so tight for what?"


Anonymous Toukarin said...

Well, at least you still do shed those inhibitions once in a while...

I'm too comfortable such that I leave them there all the time. And my last day on earth would have been very, very different from my normal days I suppose.

11:43 AM  
Blogger jellybeano said...

Haha, since you know you have these inhibitions, why aren't you shedding them?

11:50 AM  

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