Tuesday, January 24, 2006

I want a Straw that Sucks!

The downside of my job is that I usually have to lunch alone, unless I do lunch appointments with my professors. When eating alone, I frequently resort to take-aways because it is almost impossible to sniff a seat out during the lunch hours. When eating alone, I further prefer to head to the shortest queue because I detest standing in lines, having the person behind breathing moisture down my neck.

Unfortunately, the shortest queue also mean blandest food. But that, I can tolerate. Soon, the Science Canteen Pasta Uncle began to find my face familiar. Each time my lunch order mildly differs "Macaroni, Cream Sauce, Small, Takeaway." Each time, Pasta Uncle's responds "Do you know how much is the small portion?"

Now, to me, this is rather exasperating but I constantly kept my cool sufficiently to mutter "$2.30, Uncle." For some reason today, I decided to retort.

"Shouldn't you at least know the price of the food you sell?"

Pasta Uncle: Orhh. Cos' ah, Nobody order small-size one!
Me: ...

Pasta Uncle scooped the macaroni.

Pasta Uncle: Enough a not ah?
Me: Yes, yes.

He proceeded to scoop the cream sauce.

Pasta Uncle: Enough a not ah?
Me: Well, I could do with a bit more.

He proceeded with more cream sauce.

Pasta Uncle: Now leh, enough a not?
Me: Yes, yes.
Pasta Uncle: Of course yes lah. If not enough, it becomes big order already lor.

If that isn't dripping sarcasm, I don't know what is.

Pasta Uncle: What you doing ah? Student or Staff?
Me: Both.
Pasta Uncle: Why always DA BAO? EAT HERE LAH!
Me: ...

Grabbing my food and handing him $2.40, I made a mental note to boycott the Pasta Stall forever more, despite its short short queues.

Pasta Uncle: So, I return you 10 cent right?

I resisted the urge to purge my innards and made my way to the drinks store to get a packet of apple juice. What's more aggravating than a Pasta Uncle who can't Shut Up? A straw with a puny hole that render all sucking futile. Give me a straw that sucks! Grr.


Anonymous Anonymous said...

somehow, the last part about the straw read like a slightly nuanced erm description of a blowjob and it's associated devices.

2:01 AM  
Blogger jellybeano said...

Wah lao, like I said, your mind is skewed towards the dark and perverted side already.

11:02 AM  
Anonymous blue said...

wahhh why u keep moving! haha
anyway i seldom eat sch food.. not nice ley :P

2:13 PM  
Blogger jellybeano said...

itchy backside lor, thats why keep moving :P

11:19 PM  

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